Requiem for My First Wine Friend

Neal Hulkower
9 min readFeb 24, 2023

John, whose fault it is (https://www.wine-searcher.com/m/2020/06/the-cost-of-drinking-wine-history), died of a massive heart attack while walking on 19 November 2022, 12 days short of his 73rd birthday. I met Toshu John Neatrour in August 1968 when he allowed me to stay at his off-campus apartment until the dorms opened late the following month after I came to the area for an Astronomical League Convention in Chicago. We were both astronomy majors at Northwestern University in Evanston and lovers of classical music, so there were already common pursuits. But it was John who was singlehandedly responsible for igniting what became my lifelong obsession with fine wine. Yet over time, this erstwhile orchidist’s, avid telescopist’s, and onetime semiprofessional cellist’s interest in the spirituous world, while never diminished, never blossomed to the same extent as mine but instead was eclipsed and came to play second fiddle to one more spiritual. (John was also my most formidable “pun pong” opponent.)

John was attracted to Sōtō Zen Buddhism in the 1970s while we were both graduate students, even bringing me along to practice zazen at a temple in Chicago. After a few years, I stopped meditating, but he later was ordained and changed his first name from Marvin to Toshu. The Dragon Chant Zen Center which he shepherded became the focus of his life until the end.

Over the first decades of our friendship, our educational and career paths diverged leading to geographic separation. We visited intermittently, sometimes with gaps of a few years. But then in 2002, we ended up in the same company on the West Coast. Later he joined me at a professional services company on the opposite coast. When we left full time employment, we once again lived in separate but this time contiguous states. We stayed in touch and even collaborated on two papers that were published in peer reviewed journals. While each of these adventures could fill pages, it is the oenophilia that I contracted from him, along with the attendant gluttony, that is the source of my most vivid, albeit fading, and pleasant reminiscences. So the most fitting eulogy for this lapsed meditator to give to my first and dearest wine friend is a recollection of some of the bottles we shared over the years.

When I first met John, he had two classified growth clarets, 1961 Leoville Las Cases and 1961 Calon-Segur. The first he recalled us having with his mother’s pasta sauce that he prepared, but the circumstances of the uncorking of the second remains a mystery. I didn’t start keeping notes about the wines I tasted until August 1969, so it is likely that if I had it, it was before then.

My notes during the first decade did not contain the names of those who shared the wines with me, but there are some hints from the circumstances of their consumption when included. John was a founding member of the Duncan Hines Memorial Bon Vivant Fellowship, International, or DHMBVF, the gourmet society I cofounded in 1969. The annual banquet and occasional tastings featured old Bordeaux and Burgundies, the occasional California wine, and German bottlings. Two such events that took place in November 1975 have been previously recounted (https://www.wine-searcher.com/m/2020/06/the-cost-of-drinking-wine-history).

A tasting of Medoc reds was held in my apartment on 23 December 1972 with John, his first wife, Alice, Jim Kettner and his wife, Janet, and fellow oenophile and astronomy major, Spencer Young, who kept a sizable cellar at his parents’ house in Lagrange, Illinois, from which we enjoyed many a bottle. The flight comprised 1961 Leoville Las Cases, 1966 Château Latour, 1953 Cos D’Estournel, and 1934 Château Margaux. The 1961 Château D’Yquem was dessert.

John assisted me in the five day preparation of a dinner celebrating my Master’s degree on 17 June 1972 at which a 1970 Château Carbonnieux Blanc, a 1947 Chambertin from Pierre Ponnelle, and a 1969 Hattenheimer Heiligenberg Feine Beerenauslese were poured.

After John finished his Bachelor’s degree at Northwestern, he switched to physics for graduate school at the University of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana campus. His Master’s dinner and early 25th birthday celebration on 2 November 1974 included the 1949 Chambertin Clos de Beze from Bouchot-Ludot, a 1947 Clos de Vougeot from Pierre Ponnelle, the 1959 Leoville-Las Cases, J. J. Prüm’s 1949 Wehlener Sonnenuhr Feinste Auslese, and a 1971 Eltviller Sonnenberg Riesling Beerenauslese. Moderation had yet to enter our vocabulary let alone our habits.

On 22 May 1977, we celebrated finishing my Ph.D. with a tasting in my small apartment in graduate housing with some faculty members and their wives. The lineup included the 1959 Château Beychevelle, 1962 Château La Mission Haut Brion, 1959 Château Mouton-Rothschild, 1959 Château Talbot along with a 1971 Steinberger Spätlese and the fantastic 1959 Steinberger Trockenbeerenauslese.

I moved my tiny collection of bottles to Nashville, Tennessee, all of which were consumed during the year and a half I was there attempting a career in academics. I’m sure that John was involved in consuming at least one when he visited but I have no record. Not making enough to support my wine habit, not that there was much to buy in town, and the family that I had, I moved to California in 1979 to become a rocket scientist. John remained in the Midwest, eventually settling for an ABD (all but dissertation) and working as a software engineer for several organizations.

In addition to our careers which put us in different parts of the country, our marriages, children, unmarriages, and new marriages kept us occupied. Visits were rare while the lack of modern communication methods like email and mobile phones necessitated letter writing, a more time consuming and hence rarely utilized method to keep in touch.

In 1984, I was once again in Chicago for a nonwork related meeting when I got to see John. I think it was an Alsatian wine (or two?) that accompanied the over the top oyster extravaganza lunch in Oak Park. To this day, it is the single most expensive midday meal I’ve had.

Tiring of California and enticed by a sweet offer in Massachusetts, I moved with my family across the country in 1988. John remained in the Chicago area until 1999. That same year, I bounced back to the West Coast, this time, Redmond, Washington, to try my hand in the software business. In the first years of the new millennium, John spent full time pursuing Zen matters in Japan. In 2002, he was in Milwaukee. That is also the first year for which I have our email exchanges and the year he came to work for the same software company.

With this renewed proximity, though short lived, and ample funds, we feasted and drank mightily and well. The now defunct Fine Wine and Cigars in Redmond Town Center was the site of many a Friday afternoon tasting and the source of truly fine bottles. Woodinville, a vineyard-less nascent center of winemaking, was a short distance and was starting to grow. Of course, my wine stash began to veer heavily toward Washington state bottles.

During the less than 2 years we were together in Redmond, there were many dinners at my home for which unfortunately I have no records. Both Madeira lovers, John and I did enjoy a dinner at Matts’ Rotisserie & Oyster Lounge at that time that featured a few from the 19th century.

After a change of fortunes in 2004, I ended up in Northern Virginia. John was to follow the next year, accepting a position in the professional services company I was already working for. Records of dinners and tastings during that period exist. In May 2008, I hosted a dinner for John and another colleague that featured a nonvintage (NV) R. Dumont & Fil Brut and 2000 Château Duhart-Milon. At another, less than 2 months later, a NV R. Dumont & Fil Brut Rosé, the 2000 Coleraine Cabernet/Merlot Te Mata Estate, 2000 Mistique Cabernet Sauvignon Hartwell Estate, and the 2005 Wehlener Sonnenuhr Riesling Auslese from Cardinal Cusanus Stiflswein were served. Two weeks after, I poured NV R. Dumont & Fil Blanc de Blancs Brut, the 2001 and 2002 Betz La Serene Syrah, and a Marc de Chateauneuf de Pape.

John and I attended a NASA sponsored conference in Portland, Oregon, in 2008 and celebrated 40 years of friendship with a dinner at the now shuttered Heathman Restaurant. It included a Sancerre and a 1998 Ken Wright Pinot noir. We were impressed with the decade old Pinot.

Occasionally, we would get live Maine lobsters off a truck that came down to Virginia. A dinner featuring the crustaceans in October 2008 was accompanied by a NV Rondel Pura Raza Cava, the 2002 Allenberg de Bergheim Riesling, the 2006 Bergström Sigrid Reserve Chardonnay, and the 1997 Château Suduiraut.

Some Virginia wines began to entice and found a place at some dinners. In February 2010, NV Thibaut-Janisson Brut Rosé led one off that also included a 1999 Domaine du Pegau Chateauneuf du Pape.

On 18 March 2010, I prepared a dinner to celebrate the publication of “The Judgment of Paris According to Borda” (https://doi.org/10.1080/09571260903451029) in which I demonstrate that the 1970 Château Haut-Brion actually edged out the 1973 Stag’s Leap Wine Cellars Cabernet Sauvignon for first place. I had managed to procure one of the last bottles of the former and served it. John’s reaction: “It was wonderful. Under a constant theme of cedar various flavors evolved. A general red fruit became more distinctly cherry and then cherry-raspberry. A mineral-herbal complex provided the most distinct entertainment showing itself as earth and grass, then with added mint notes, shifting toward damp straw, horse sweat, and rain on rocks.” The celebration began with the NV Thibaut-Janisson Brut, included the 2001 Clos de Betz for contrast, and ended with the 1994 Dow Vintage Port.

The last dinner John attended at my home in Virginia for which I have a menu was on 9 February 2011. The NV Agrapart & Fils Les 7 Crus Brut Blanc de Blancs, a 2006 Remy Lagrein, and the 1985 Sandeman Vintage Port accompanied the meal. During the summer of that year, I was converted to a consultant and no longer needed to live in Virginia. We then became Oregon residents while John stayed in the commonwealth until 2019 when he moved to Idaho.

He visited us in Oregon twice. More notable is the second time in 2014 when he came to celebrate my 65th birthday. In addition to John, Jesús Guillén, the winemaker at White Rose Estate and his own label, Guillén Family Wines, and his wife, Yuliana joined us. (After the tragic early death of her husband (https://www.oregonwinepress.com/jesus-guillen-olvera), Yuliana assumed control of the brand and oversees the production of some lovely Pinot noirs.) The dinner started with the 2007 Riesling Kaeffererkopf from Meyer-Fonné and was followed by a 1949 Volnay-Caillerets from Pierre Latour which Jesús said was in the top 15 of about 3000 wines he tasted. In case that bottle was bad, we had as backup, but consumed anyway, a 1999 Archery Summit Arcus Estate Pinot noir and a 2006 Clos de Vougeot from Francois Lamarche. The former was one of Jesús’s epiphany wines. Dessert was accompanied by a NV Phelps Creek Vin doré Gewürtztraminer (sic).

The last time I saw John was in September 2018 during one of our frequent trips to Virginia to visit our daughter and her family. We marked 50 years of friendship at L’Auberge Chez Francois in Great Falls with a 2014 Château Carbonnieux Blanc and the 2008 Château Malartic-Lagravière.

Despite moving closer to each other, we never were able to get together again. I am profoundly saddened that there wasn’t at least one more chance to share a fine bottle or two with John. I had hoped to celebrate his 70th birthday with him in 2019 at my home in Oregon but circumstances and distance prevented it. I was planning to serve three Pinot noirs from the 2008 vintage, exactly 40 years after we met, a White Rose Estate White Rose Vineyard Whole Cluster (disclosure: I work part time in the White Rose tasting room), the Archery Summit Archery Summit Estate, and the Château de la Tour Clos Vougeot (also 100% whole cluster). They will remain on my wine bucket list unconsumed (https://www.wine-searcher.com/m/2022/05/ticking-off-the-wine-bucket-list) until there is a worthy occasion and appreciative company. I was also saving a NV Laherte Frere Les 7, a rare grower champagne made from the 7 permitted varieties. Then the global insanity intervened and finally his death, tragically precluding forever the visit once contemplated for the very same month he died. So now there are only receding imperfect recollections of our times together and apart over more than half a century through school, marriages, children, diverging and intersecting careers and passions, collaborations, and occasional disagreements. But the sweetest memories of all flow from recalling the wines we shared.

Thank you, John, and rest in peace.

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Neal Hulkower

Dr. Neal D. Hulkower is an independent consultant and freelance writer in McMinnville, OR. His areas of expertise include decision analysis and wine economics.